How To Handle Saying The Wrong Thing On A Date
Have you ever put your foot in your mouth? Here are a few tips that might come in handy.
Bad dates sometimes can be unavoidable. No matter what you do, at least once in your life, you are bound to have a bad time on a date for one reason or another. You may run across people who say they have never had a bad one, but rest assured they are not exactly telling you the truth. It is not possible to have a perfect, 100% “good date” dating score. The most common way a date can go wrong is if one of you say the wrong thing to the other. This can ruin the perfect date even for Oprah. But there are ways to get around it. There are also things you can do to try to counteract the damage of what was said, or even get out of the bad date altogether if you need to.
Awkward Silences-The Date Killer
Imagine this for a minute. You are on a date and in a restaurant. It’s a nice restaurant, not too expensive, not overly gaudy, but nice. The two of you have ordered dinner and are patiently waiting for your drinks to arrive. And then it happens, the first awkward silence of the evening. So you start to say something to your date to try to combat the silence. The problem is, though, that in your haste to find words, you stumbled upon the wrong words. Instead if asking a normal question like “So, what is your job like?” it came out as “So, how much money do you make?” or maybe you commented on the way your date was dresses but it came out wrong.
Saying the wrong thing to your date doesn’t have to be a date killer, but it certainly qualifies. So how do you combat this? If it was you who made the faux pas, politely and calmly explain to your date that you really didn’t mean to say what you did. Tell them, the truth and let them know that you were so excited about being on a date with them that you couldn’t find the right words to say and you thought that something was better than nothing. Then hope that they will understand and let it go. Or you could just let it slide and hope wither they won’t notice you said something you shouldn’t have, or they won’t care.
If you are the recipient of the wrong words said to you, there are a couple things you can do. First, you could ignore what they said. It is entirely possible that you already know they are nervous and know it is possible for something like that to happen accidentally. In that case, you could just ignore what they said and start a new conversation as if you had never heard the offending words in the first place. The other thing you can do, especially if the words were actually hurtful or offensive in some way is ask for an explanation and/or an apology. Of course you want to know why the offending phrase was spoken, but if it was offensive, it may have hurt your feelings and requires something be done about it.
Two Possible Outcomes
This situation could actually have two outcomes for the person who spoke out of turn. If you are the person who ad libbed at the wrong time and have tried to explain or apologize hoping for forgiveness or understanding, and you get it, then there is hope for the relationship yet. This means the other person is open to understanding dicey situations and can handle out of the ordinary things happening occasionally. Just try not to make a habit out of it.
The second possibility is the words were too offensive, or there was no apology or forgiveness. In this case, it might be a good time to bow out of the relationship already. If a person can’t understand something as silly as a phrase faux pas, then it is likely they will be rigid and restrictive, possibly controlling or abusive, further along into the relationship.
Life and Dating Goes On
In the end, whether the relationship survives a forgivable faux pas or if it is left in the dust, the fact remains that it was a bad date. It will either survive or not. If it does, you have a second chance with it, so you might want to be a bit more careful in the future. At least until the two of you are comfortable enough to be able to talk about those things that are considered taboo to talk about until the 10th date. .Otherwise, if you broke up, you have still gained something from the situation. So either way, you win. Just be a bit more careful next time and know that life-and dating-goes on.