4
4
Profile
- Gender
- Woman
- Looking For
- Man
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Location
- Brighton and Hove, Brighton
- Marital Status
- Widow/Widower
- Height
- Ask Me
- Body Type
- Average
- Race
- Various
- Religion
- Spiritual
- Profession
- Engineering/Technical
About Me
Phwoooaaarrr, get a look at my sexy glasses, how can you resist me? Come and help me make tin foil models while listening to Val Doonican Wahey!! xx
I am a 30 something woman who's looking for a human being, preferably someone who's alive and compus mentus, who can help me with my housework and maybe take me limbo dancing now and again, (I once won a limbo dancing competition at a holiday camp in Prestatyn and I've been hooked since) you would also have to be willing to watch me play with myself (playing with my weebles, my plastercine or my favourite doll). I have one leg shorter than the other and have to wear one of those big platform orthapaedic shoes, but apparently platforms are making a comeback aren't they? I've been very lonely lately, maybe that's something to do with my shockingly bad breath, my horrendous flatulence especially in bed, my Tourette Syndrome or maybe its because I talk like Phyllis Pierce from Coronation Street (god rest her soul) you know, the one with the masculine gravelly voice. I love jesus sandals, tan coloured tights (they hide a multitude of sins, including my hairy legs and my psoriasis) flowery dresses, pleated skirts, Playtex Girdles and permed hair (check my pic), I adore talking dirty, especially about dustbins, dirty socks, dog muck and skiddies in the toilet. Please be gentle with me as I had my heart broken a long time ago when Bernard Manning ignored me at one of his shows, and I have never been the same since.
Ideally I would love someone who looks a little like John Sargent (the politics man on TV who looks like Jo Brand, I just love his wobbly jowls) but I would settle for someone who is still breathing, with their own head (with or without hair I don't mind, but if it's bald I can slap it like Benny Hill used to do to that poor old man, that would be fun) and preferably your own teeth, I don't mind if they are dentures so long as they are YOURS and you've not stolen them from some other poor soul, and I don't mind anyone with a shoe fetish either, so long as it'
I am a 30 something woman who's looking for a human being, preferably someone who's alive and compus mentus, who can help me with my housework and maybe take me limbo dancing now and again, (I once won a limbo dancing competition at a holiday camp in Prestatyn and I've been hooked since) you would also have to be willing to watch me play with myself (playing with my weebles, my plastercine or my favourite doll). I have one leg shorter than the other and have to wear one of those big platform orthapaedic shoes, but apparently platforms are making a comeback aren't they? I've been very lonely lately, maybe that's something to do with my shockingly bad breath, my horrendous flatulence especially in bed, my Tourette Syndrome or maybe its because I talk like Phyllis Pierce from Coronation Street (god rest her soul) you know, the one with the masculine gravelly voice. I love jesus sandals, tan coloured tights (they hide a multitude of sins, including my hairy legs and my psoriasis) flowery dresses, pleated skirts, Playtex Girdles and permed hair (check my pic), I adore talking dirty, especially about dustbins, dirty socks, dog muck and skiddies in the toilet. Please be gentle with me as I had my heart broken a long time ago when Bernard Manning ignored me at one of his shows, and I have never been the same since.
Ideally I would love someone who looks a little like John Sargent (the politics man on TV who looks like Jo Brand, I just love his wobbly jowls) but I would settle for someone who is still breathing, with their own head (with or without hair I don't mind, but if it's bald I can slap it like Benny Hill used to do to that poor old man, that would be fun) and preferably your own teeth, I don't mind if they are dentures so long as they are YOURS and you've not stolen them from some other poor soul, and I don't mind anyone with a shoe fetish either, so long as it'
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